Child Abuse~~it doesn't count if there ain't no marks

Child abuse~~What constitutes child abuse??? There are so many different organizations who scream and holler and get absolutley NOTHING done. Sure, we hear stories all the time of new laws and rules governing child abuse. We hear about people going to jail for abusing their children. Alot of talk. Because, the organizations that are here in the US, they only see in black and white, and unless there are marks, bruises, physical signs, or unless the child speaks up and tells, in detail no less, then it just does not meet their criteria!!! And the abuse continues. Now let me ask anyone, how many kids do YOU know who would say to a unknown person, or even someone they know, oh yea, my parents call me names, they embarrass me intentionally, they make me feel horrible about myself, they use crazy ways of punishment and disipline, I fear my parents,............How many kids would admit to this, how many would even recognize this as emotional abuse??? If this has gone on their entire lives, who is there to tell them that this is not NORMAL? If these same children has been punished in very unusual ways, how will these children be protected while these allegations are investigated??? These children are at the mercy of the abuser. Funny, society is FINALLY recognizing spouse abuse on all levels.(it took long enough) The experts realize that the effects of verbal, emotional and psychological abuse are maybe more profound then those of just the physical variety. There are now places for these abused spouses to go and seek shelter and protection. Places to get therapy and help. Which is great. There is tons of public information out there in the media that inform and educate those who are unaware. Too bad that most people do not realize that the same abuses these spouses have withstood has also been inflicted upon the children. And if the abuser ends up with custody of these children the effects are worse. Society continues to ask themselves what is wrong with the children and young adults of today. Why do these young people lack respect and integrity? Maybe because they have not been protected by the people who should protect them. The agencies, DSS, the judicial system, and the family. Maybe if we all began to educate these children, in the schools, churches and even daycares, something could be done to begn to fix this problem. If these educators were more informed on the traits of people who verbally, emotionally and psycholgoically abuse, they might be able to single out the children who this type of abuse effects. And if not single out, maybe become a little more in tune with the child, become a mentor or confident of the child. Most children who have been abused in this manner are AFRAID. They have been taught to be afraid. They have been ruled by fear. They are taught to NEVER discuss their lives to ANYONE. Many of these children may appear to be loners, or do not have very close relationships with the others they call "friends". They may not participate in organized school activites. These children may appear to be perfectionists and may be come overly upset if they are less then perfect at any assigned activity. At first glance these children will appear to be just as "Normal" as any other child. They will be well behaved, with a few small infractions, which may result in being overly emotional. This is due to the fear the abuser may find out. If these educators meet the parents, they may notice a greater sense of control and need to control. They may notice that these parents have a greater sense of themselves; overt arrogance, a condensending manner( as if they know more then you) or when speaking of the child, they may change the conversation around and make it about them. All of these behaviors should send up red flags. The flags may be hard to see, as these same abusers will appear to be rather charming and understanding. The child may have already given up. They may be depressed. They may have determined that no one else cares, so they will just have to deal with it. They may come up with wild ideas of how to escape. But the idea that they have NO WHERE TO GO has been enforced by the abuser, no matter how untrue it might be. These children may tend to turn to suicidal tendacies, or talk of it. ( The above are just things I have noticed and I am in now way a expert. Alot of it is based on things I have either witnessed and/or read about) I beleive that if we, the people that make up our own society, would raise up and DEMAND that the "SYSTEM" begin recognizing that abuse is not always seen, does not always leave bruises or scars that can be seen, and does not just happen to a spouse or older person, and if we begin to address this and demand that our politicians begin to address these issues, then our children will grow up to improve our society. Here is a link to the NC state manua on intake procedures for a child abuse allegation.http://info.dhhs.state.nc.us/olm/manuals/dss/csm-60/man/CS1407-03.htm#P479_30500 This has the "tools" to determine if a report should be made. It DOES NOT mention that the child has to be able to verbalize this behavior or meet the following criteria. When making screening decisions, it is important to question the reporter about the child’s mental and physical status. The parent’s behavior must be causing serious emotional damage to the child. Serious emotional damage is evidenced by a child’s severe anxiety, depression, withdrawal or aggressive behavior. The following can be indicators of a child suffering from emotional abuse: eating disorders such as obesity and anorexia, speech disorders such as stutters or stammering, developmental delays in the acquisition of speech and motor skills, weight or height levels substantially below norm, flat or bald spots on an infant’s head, nervous disorders such as rashes, hives, facial tics. It is important to note that emotional abuse is characterized by continuous, ongoing harmful interactions, not isolated incidents. This list is not all-inclusive, nor is it absolute. These are factors to consider when making a decision to screen in a report How does a normal citizen determine what kind of damage has been done unless they have a PHd??!!! How does one determine that a child is depressed or is anorexic if the child does not talk about it??? And again I will ask.........Whose reality check has continued to bounce????