WHY PUT THE CHILDREN IN THE MIDDLE??

I know it is hard NOT to put the children in the middle of a divorce or custody issue, but why in the hell do it intentionally??? We, as parents, have to understand that children are already hurt by the split, the loss of one parent no longer living in the home or with them. Why make it worse for them??? Why include them in adult conversations??? Funny, one of the things my ex used to accuse me of was discussing adult things with my kids. He used this when I would ask about what he may have cooked them for dinner. He had actually trained my oldest, at 8 years old to tell me that I was including her in adult conversations. Basically anything other then "how are you" was off limits.This pretty much made it really difficult to have a conversation with them when they were younger. It left nothing else to talk about and children just are not that forth coming on a telephone, especially when being tape recorded by their father. So now, it comes to my attention, that even though I was constantly reprimanded by him and the children for having so called "adult conversations" with the children, he in all actuality WAS!!! YES!!! AMAZING ISN'T IT? Not only has he discussed with them adult situations, he has given them details and somehow has convinced them that some of this behavior is ACCEPTABLE and NORMAL! Of course, some of the details were adjusted, to make him look like the good guy and I gues some of the details he just didn't care enough about to adjust as he felt his behavior was JUSTIFIED! As an example, apparently he told my daughter about his escapades while on a deployment to Dominican Republic. During this time, I had recieved several messages from some of the higher ranking soldiers there with him who warned me to NOT allow him to touch me when he arrived home as he had been playing with some of the local natives. I was SHOCKED but even more so when I later recieved a phone bill a month later for over $900. All calls to this 3rd world country!!!! This poor woman. she was obviously clueless. So I called her. Figured one more phone call sure wouldn't hurt my phone bill. SHe spoke no English so I asked her if she knew Jack.......si si Jacko gringo what up what up....(his fav saying at the time) I said Jacko married, in my worst spanish accent. Uno Dos Trez bambinos. OMG....she was wailing and someone who spoke a little English got on the phone and asked me if this was true. I said, Yes I am his wife. Several months later, I found a letter from her written to him in spanish. Upon translation it said he was the best white gringo. That she had just got out of a mental institution after finding out he was marrried and did not tell her. That she thought he was going to marry her. Anyways, the story was apparently repeated to my daughter. She confronted me with the knowledge of this phone call, although she was in school when it took place. She said I cussed this woman out and how dare i since she did not understand English. I asked her if I appeared stupid enough to do something like that considering she didnt understand??? Then I asked her if she knew WHY I called this poor woman?? She said, with her hands on her hips, a look of justification and defiance on her face, Because my Dad CHEATED on you with her. ....As if THIS was OKAY and acceptable behavior. Talk about REAL SHOCK!!! HOW DARE HE??? How dare he allow her to be part of this???How dare he allow her to think that this kind of behavior is OK and Part of a normal relationship???How will this information influence her own relationships now and in the future??? Since she is now a teenager, how aware is she that he is still cheating...just not on me but on his new wife? And if she is aware of all of this, then how aware are her younger brother and sister??? How does one JUSTIFY this behavior?? The disclosures of an adult nature?? Unless of course he tries to place the blame on me...surprise surprise.... Except... I used to never use the word cheat. I had a phrase all my own for shady behavior at that time that I used for many things. My friends even made jokes about it. Of course at this point I cannot disclose the phrase haha But later I will. Anyone can take a quess.... I think somewhere along the line my ex has been so involved in ALIENATING my children from me, that he lost sight of doing the right things for them and teaching them true values and morals. He is definitly not setting a very good example nor can I say he is a good role model. I am sure during the tribulations within our marriage the children did overhear adult conversations, and they would usually ask questions. Instead of avoiding the subject or trying to redirect their curious minds, I would try to give them simple answers that did not require details. The less they knew the better, but I felt that they had a right to understand certain things, such as anger or frustration that leads to verbal abuse. And yes, some of was a bit more in the adult category. But the children had already witnessed their fathers abuse of me so many times, I think they needed to hear some kind of answer and reassurances that this was NOT their fault, that they did not make Daddy angry...But putting them in the middle of this.....What in the world was he thinking... It is bad enough, apparently his new wife, who does not even know me tell them stories. Shame on them both, robbing them of their childhood.