Just To Prove My Point....(child abuse in the Military)

Former N.C. soldier must pay toward son's funeral Associated Press SMITHFIELD, N.C. - A former Army sergeant who served in Iraq must pay $1,000 for his son's funeral after pleading no contest to a charge of involuntary manslaughter in the boy's death. In a Johnston County courtroom Thursday, a judge ordered Jessie Ullom to pay the money to the baby's grandmother to reimburse her for the funeral of his son, Christian Norris. A violent shaking in 2002 left Christian blind. He never walked or talked before he died in December 2004 a few weeks before he turned 3. Judge William C. Gore Jr. also added a year to the two years probation that Ullom, 25, is already serving for abusing Christian. But he decided not to send Ullom to jail even though prosecutor Elisabeth Dresel argued that Ullom should get the maximum sentence of almost two years in prison. "Some people will look at your defendant as a baby killer; others will say he is the authentic American hero," Gore, a Superior Court judge from Columbus County, said to Ullom's attorney. "At this point, this far removed from the actual act ... it appears to not be in the interest of justice to put him in prison." Prosecutors and Ullom's lawyer, Jim Levinson, decided he would plead no contest to involuntary manslaughter but left the sentence to the judge. District Attorney Tom Lock sat on a courtroom bench and shook his head as the judge let Ullom go free. He partly blamed himself. "I've certainly carried a lot of guilt, because we didn't send him to prison the first time," Lock said. Christian's grandmother, Linda Norris, noted that Ullom was not sentenced to a prison term in 2004 when he was convicted of abusing Christian. She said she expected nothing different when prosecutors charged Ullom again after Christian died. "All he got was a slap on the wrist," Norris told the judge. "But him going to prison is not going to bring my baby back." Ullom, who was discharged from the Army last summer, has never admitted in court that he shook his son. In 2004 and again Thursday, Ullom pleaded no contest as part of a deal his attorney struck with a prosecutor. He told a social worker at a hospital in 2002 that he might have picked the baby up too hard and noticed Christian's head flop back and forth, a prosecutor said. Military officials have admitted that Ullom should have been kicked out after his child-abuse conviction in March 2004. Federal law and military policy ban soldiers convicted of domestic violence - including child abuse - from being sent overseas, because they can't legally carry a gun. Ullom spent much of 2004 with the 82nd Airborne in Iraq. "It's not only cost him his son, but this has cost him his career," said Levinson, who bragged before the sentencing about his client's stellar military service. He told the judge that Ullom led soldiers on home raids in Iraq and confiscated an untold number of illegal weapons. ~~~~ This whole story is appalling. The military ignored the charges of child abuse, allowed this soldier to carry a gun as he led soldiers on raids of homes in IRAQ... with the reports of child abuse as well as child sexual abuse going on over there, who could expect anything less??? If he served with the 82nd ABN, I know how they all work. And I guarantee this sodliers chain of command was fully aware of the charges against this soldier within the civilian world. Who is going to make this chain of command accountable for these decisions?? And the worst thing of all is, the judge had to actually ORDER this dirtbag to pay $1000 towards his sons funeral!!! OMG....his reality check really did bounce and I don't even need to ask!!!

Interesting TidBit...

I found a blog that addresses the amount of children murdered in NC due to child abuse. And compares the civilian deaths to military deaths. I found it very interesting. http://penilecodeavenger.blogspot.com/2005/05/child-abuse-deaths-on-military.html There is one thing I would like to note. I am seriously not sure how these people gather statistics on any of this. I say this because I had called the DSS in Cumberland County to find some information on a past case from 1998. And I was told, that until recently, once these cases were disposed of, they were not saved. Saving these cases only became a "NORM" recently. So basically if someone sexually or physically abused their kids in 1998 to about 2001, THEY ARE SAFE!! They can do it again and no one will know that this behavior has become habitual. I also called Fort Bragg today, to finally find out abut the disposition of the assault with a deadly weapons case against my ex. Funny, they only save them for 2 years. And then they just go away. And apparently there was NO disposition on this case. They just didn't understand why not, and now the statute of limitations is up..... Imagine that. Now I am in the process of contacting the military police there at Bragg to see if the reports that had been made are still in the system. According to JAG, these should still be there regardless. I guess I will wait and see just how deep this kind of white wash goes.........although I may not have copies of the reports the MP s made I sure as heck still have the dates of each assault and abuse where the MPs were called. If these are no longer there, how do they document anything or gain statistics for any of their reports????? And people will continue to wonder......... Whose reality check has bounced???

SPOUSE ABUSE ala US Special Forces,Fort Bragg NC

Spouse Abuse in the military. We have heard all the stories, we have read about a few incidents that ultimatley ended in murder.( http://nccafv.org/Fort_Bragg_wife_killings.htm )Some people were shocked. Some were outraged. And some were not surprised at all. I was one of those who was not the least bit surprised. Why not?? Because I was one of "those" wives. And no matter how much the US Army or the Special Forces command may protest, they have different standards when dealing with Spouse/domestic abuse. And ultimatly it is up to the abusers "chain of command" as to how these people are punished, or in my case, NOT punished. It makes no difference that the powers that be have taken so much time in writing SOPs(standard operating procedures) addressing spouse abuse, and working to so hard to convince the "public" that the military takes this issue very seriously. For a victim, we all realize that this is a wash. The first thing that happens when an incident hits the military police blotter is that the chain of command speaks to the soldier. Since it is the commands job to support the soldier, they usually never speak to the abused spouse. They accept the soldiers excuse as if it were written in gold. And will support this soldier, even if they have doubts, or are fully aware this soldier has some abusive tendacies. This behavior is more prevalent within the Special Forces Community. The next step, especially if children are in the home, is that the military post, Social Work Services are contacted. Depending on the allegations, it is up to them whether they contact the local county DSS/Child Protective Services. They usually suggest therapy with them,(a waste of time) , anger management classes, parenting classes. Basically this is pretty much a waste if one is working to make changes. Alot of mouth service, and thus the soldier becomes educated on how to sound more in "control" and less guilty. The majority of the soldiers are male, and usually these group therapy sessions turn into a wife bashing free for all. If the abused spouse wants to push it, and wants the soldier to be charged, then the treats begin. "maam, you realize that if the soldier recieves UCMJ punishment it will only hurt you and your childen"...yep this is true. They take rank, money and time from the abuser, which does hurt the family. These officials explain that if you continue to press charges, that the spouse can be discharged from military service. And then who will support you and the children. The end result being that the victim is punished finacially. They have a program that the media loves to talk about. The abused spouse program which pays the spouse for a certain amount of time, to relocate and get on their feet. What is NOT mentioned is that the only way to get this, is that the soldier has to be put out of the military, based on charges of spouse abuse. And this usually does not happen. They will use terms "failure to adapt","not following a lawful order" ect...anything other then abuse. Therefore most abused spouses do not qualify for the program. Most victims of spouse abuse end up chosing not to press charges, no matter what may have happened to them. The PRESSURE that is put on them by the officials, the threats of lack of financial support are so strong, that one ends up giving up. But, once a victim gives up, then it is really on. There will be no more documentation of this abuse. And in fact the abuser will then be treated as if they were falsely accused. The abuser will be treated as if they were the victim, persecuted by the spouse on trumped up charges. Or in the case of Special Forces Command, even if one wants to continue with enforcing the charges, they suddenly just dissappear. If the spouse has sought shelter away from the abuser, and the marriage is no longer intact, the results are worse. It makes no difference that the spouse was abused, that there were documented signs of abuse or even that a weapon was found.... The charges just go away...as if this did not happen. And the command will continue to support the abuser.And continue to claim that there is nothing to support any accusations that this soldier did abuse. WHY?? Because they "lost" the paperwork!!! This is a paper done by the Department of Defense back in 1996,and in 10 years with 9-11 and the war in Iraq, one can only imagine the increase in spouse abuse within the military. The problem is now, that it has become harder to find statistics. At least "good" statistics that have not been altered. ( http://www.defenselink.mil/speeches/1996/s19960723-becraft.html) And imagine that none of these statistics even begin to address the issues of verbal and psychological abuse. Which has become more prevelaent. These soldiers have been trained in these areas. How many more deaths of abuse victims will it take??? How many more murders?? How much longer will victims of military spouse abuse be forced to shut their eyes and pretend as if it never happened?? And the question remains........Whose reality check bounced???

Child Abuse~~it doesn't count if there ain't no marks

Child abuse~~What constitutes child abuse??? There are so many different organizations who scream and holler and get absolutley NOTHING done. Sure, we hear stories all the time of new laws and rules governing child abuse. We hear about people going to jail for abusing their children. Alot of talk. Because, the organizations that are here in the US, they only see in black and white, and unless there are marks, bruises, physical signs, or unless the child speaks up and tells, in detail no less, then it just does not meet their criteria!!! And the abuse continues. Now let me ask anyone, how many kids do YOU know who would say to a unknown person, or even someone they know, oh yea, my parents call me names, they embarrass me intentionally, they make me feel horrible about myself, they use crazy ways of punishment and disipline, I fear my parents,............How many kids would admit to this, how many would even recognize this as emotional abuse??? If this has gone on their entire lives, who is there to tell them that this is not NORMAL? If these same children has been punished in very unusual ways, how will these children be protected while these allegations are investigated??? These children are at the mercy of the abuser. Funny, society is FINALLY recognizing spouse abuse on all levels.(it took long enough) The experts realize that the effects of verbal, emotional and psychological abuse are maybe more profound then those of just the physical variety. There are now places for these abused spouses to go and seek shelter and protection. Places to get therapy and help. Which is great. There is tons of public information out there in the media that inform and educate those who are unaware. Too bad that most people do not realize that the same abuses these spouses have withstood has also been inflicted upon the children. And if the abuser ends up with custody of these children the effects are worse. Society continues to ask themselves what is wrong with the children and young adults of today. Why do these young people lack respect and integrity? Maybe because they have not been protected by the people who should protect them. The agencies, DSS, the judicial system, and the family. Maybe if we all began to educate these children, in the schools, churches and even daycares, something could be done to begn to fix this problem. If these educators were more informed on the traits of people who verbally, emotionally and psycholgoically abuse, they might be able to single out the children who this type of abuse effects. And if not single out, maybe become a little more in tune with the child, become a mentor or confident of the child. Most children who have been abused in this manner are AFRAID. They have been taught to be afraid. They have been ruled by fear. They are taught to NEVER discuss their lives to ANYONE. Many of these children may appear to be loners, or do not have very close relationships with the others they call "friends". They may not participate in organized school activites. These children may appear to be perfectionists and may be come overly upset if they are less then perfect at any assigned activity. At first glance these children will appear to be just as "Normal" as any other child. They will be well behaved, with a few small infractions, which may result in being overly emotional. This is due to the fear the abuser may find out. If these educators meet the parents, they may notice a greater sense of control and need to control. They may notice that these parents have a greater sense of themselves; overt arrogance, a condensending manner( as if they know more then you) or when speaking of the child, they may change the conversation around and make it about them. All of these behaviors should send up red flags. The flags may be hard to see, as these same abusers will appear to be rather charming and understanding. The child may have already given up. They may be depressed. They may have determined that no one else cares, so they will just have to deal with it. They may come up with wild ideas of how to escape. But the idea that they have NO WHERE TO GO has been enforced by the abuser, no matter how untrue it might be. These children may tend to turn to suicidal tendacies, or talk of it. ( The above are just things I have noticed and I am in now way a expert. Alot of it is based on things I have either witnessed and/or read about) I beleive that if we, the people that make up our own society, would raise up and DEMAND that the "SYSTEM" begin recognizing that abuse is not always seen, does not always leave bruises or scars that can be seen, and does not just happen to a spouse or older person, and if we begin to address this and demand that our politicians begin to address these issues, then our children will grow up to improve our society. Here is a link to the NC state manua on intake procedures for a child abuse allegation.http://info.dhhs.state.nc.us/olm/manuals/dss/csm-60/man/CS1407-03.htm#P479_30500 This has the "tools" to determine if a report should be made. It DOES NOT mention that the child has to be able to verbalize this behavior or meet the following criteria. When making screening decisions, it is important to question the reporter about the child’s mental and physical status. The parent’s behavior must be causing serious emotional damage to the child. Serious emotional damage is evidenced by a child’s severe anxiety, depression, withdrawal or aggressive behavior. The following can be indicators of a child suffering from emotional abuse: eating disorders such as obesity and anorexia, speech disorders such as stutters or stammering, developmental delays in the acquisition of speech and motor skills, weight or height levels substantially below norm, flat or bald spots on an infant’s head, nervous disorders such as rashes, hives, facial tics. It is important to note that emotional abuse is characterized by continuous, ongoing harmful interactions, not isolated incidents. This list is not all-inclusive, nor is it absolute. These are factors to consider when making a decision to screen in a report How does a normal citizen determine what kind of damage has been done unless they have a PHd??!!! How does one determine that a child is depressed or is anorexic if the child does not talk about it??? And again I will ask.........Whose reality check has continued to bounce????