THE VERBAL BATTERING~and I thought I was past it

It has been over 6 years now, that I divorced my abuser. I have been in therapy; I have healed the wounds to only emotional scars. I have moved past being a victim; HIS VICTIM. Or so I thought. I WAS SO WRONG. Because of recent events, namely my ex again cutting off my oldest daughter from seeing our children, I called him. I nicely said I wanted to discuss our son, who is having behavior problems in school. This is the first time I have spoke to this man in several years. Of course, he knew that my reason was 2 fold. And he made it clear that he was aware that I had requesting my children's school records. And that he was none too happy. And it began........again....the name calling, the accusations, the smart comments, the belittling, the cruelty. Even on the phone, I began ducking my head. Of course, I tried to remain calm,but my hands were shaking. I was suddenly being transported back into the past, where walking on egg shells was the norm. Where threats of death, in ways that only a Army Special Forces soldier could perform it, was a daily experience. I have to congratulate the Army and the Special Forces Command; they did a wonderful job enabling an abuser and gave him the perfect tools to hone this skill. HOOAAHH.(now that I have THAT off my chest) My ex made it very clear he did not want me speaking to my children and demanded that I never call his home again. I tried to calmly explain that he could not do this, even the fact he did not inform me that he had moved the children was wrong. He would hear none of this. He then let me know, with a sadistic little chuckle, that the school had a big surprise waiting for me. I couldn't begin to imagine because as a non custodial parent, I still had rights. Little did I know......... The following day, I called the school and was immediatly connected to the principal, whom I had never spoke to before. This woman began yelling at me as well. Again transported to years ago, the life of a battered woman. Now, not only was my ex victimizing me, but the school principal was as well. She continued to scream at me that I did not have custody, HE DID and she was unwilling to do anything for me. She informed me she felt that she HAD to call my ex and report to him that I had requested my children's records. THIS IS NOT THE LAW, BUT HER CHOICE! BECAUSE AS SHE SAID YOU DO NOT HAVE CUSTODY. Apparently my ex has played his greatest show, on the stage and performing to the school staff......The GOOD father, how he was done wrong, putting on his charm, and playing up and stroking them. And of course I am the BAD parent. HOW DARE HE?? HOW DARE SHE??? SHE IS THE PROFESSIONAL!! She said she did not want to be in the middle of a domestic dispute. By calling my ex, she put herself right in the middle. She was unwilling to look at any documentation that would have supported me. When I spoke to her about the abuse that has been witnessed in my ex's home, she ignored me. So what is this saying????? THAT THE SCHOOL PROTECTS THE ABUSER AND NOT THE CHILDREN??? Seems this way to me. But isn't it her legal obligation to report any abuse to the proper authorities??? And instead she calls the abuser, and informs him, "HEY MR.SEYMOUR, DO YOU ABUSE YOUR KIDS??" As if he will respond, "HELL YEA, and just wait til they get home today...." SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME....whos reality check is bouncing here??

A Hasty Judgment is a First Step to Recantation

"A hasty judgment is a first step to recantation"~Publilius Syrus "Never look down on anybody, unless you are going to help them up. "~ Rev. Jesse Jackson "Men of ill judgment oft ignore the good that lies within their hands, till they have lost it. ~ Sophocles These quotes say so much about JUDGEMENT. And there are so many people who make judgements, without knowing all the facts. Or, they may not really care about the facts. Maybe their judgements are based on something they have adversly experienced in their past. Or these people who judge have had their views manipulated. I am finding that manipulation of authority figures; judges, therapists, police officers, teachers, mediators is a very common practice done by a Narcasissist and a person who is the alienator in PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME. The abuser uses the system to pathologize the victim, and to seperate the victim from their source of emtional sustenance~notably from the children. And he will use any available authority figure to do it. Therapists, marriage counselors, mediators, teachers, police officers, and judges are human. Some of them are social reactionaries, others are abusers, and a few are themselves spouse abusers. Many things work against the victim facing the justice system and the psychological profession.Start with denial. Abuse is such a horrid phenomenon that society and its delegates often choose to ignore it or to convert it into a more benign manifestation, typically by pathologizing the situation or the victim – rather than the perpetrator. They are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills. The abuser offers a plausible rendition of the events and interprets them to his favor. The therapist rarely has a chance to witness an abusive exchange first hand and at close quarters. In contrast, the abused are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical. There is little the victim can do to "educate" these professionals or "prove" to him who is the guilty party. Professionals are as ego-centered as the next person. They are emotionally invested in opinions they form or in their interpretation of the abusive relationship. They perceive every disagreement as a challenge to their authority and are likely to pathologize such behavior, labeling it "resistance" (or worse). So based on this information, I will assume that the lovely principal in my writing prior to this, has been duped. Either that or she is just as narcsissistic as my ex husband. And if this is the case, and this is a person that we trust to care for and teach our children, WHAT THE HELL ARE WE THINKING?!!